


Feels Like Forever Add-ons

by unn_known



Series: Feels Like Forever [2]
Category: One Direction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unn_known/pseuds/unn_known
Summary: one-shots from the "feels like forever" universe, that take place at any point during the story - maybe even before? who knows!Emilie Ellis has been the go-to guardian when it comes to her sixteen-month-old godson since the day he was born. Between Ryder and schooling, her life is full enough, filled with responsibility and happiness in turns. So of course it would stand to reason that when she’s finally accepted her lot in life, that her entire existence revolves around Ryder, someone with hypnotising blue eyes and a gorgeous Irish accent would barrel into the picture and turn everything on its head.
Series: Feels Like Forever [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012206
Comments: 7
Kudos: 4





	1. [promise that i'll love you]

Ryder bounces on the bed, the one singular thing that Emilie is consistent with telling him _not_ to do — at least, usually. But right now, it’s keeping him out of her way so she can finish packing. Shirts, jeans, her favourite creme-coloured dress and its accompanying denim jacket, underwear… Her mind races as she looks over the neat piles of clothes tucked away.

What is she forgetting?

Hygiene products. Right.

Emilie scoops Ryder into her arms, blowing a raspberry against his neck, and his protests turn to high-pitched giggles. He squirms to get away, but she presses a smacking kiss to his cheek and breathes in the smell of strawberries. As she carries him through to the en-suite, she lets herself think about the last four months and all that has changed.

_“Marry me.”_

_The words she thought she would hear from Niall, she said herself. When he was asleep. Her fingers brushed over his cheek, the curve of his brow, the slope of his nose, and she wondered why she ever thought marriage with him was anything but a forgone conclusion. After all, he had stolen the pieces of her heart that didn’t belong to Ryder. She was, and always would be, irrevocably his._

_“Mhm,” he snuffled, breath gusting out of him as he slipped further into sleep — then sat upright instantly, staring down at her._

_“What?”_

_“Did-did you just ask me to marry you?”_

_Emilie stifled a giggle, reached for his hand to lace their fingers together. “I mean, if that’s what you want?”_

_“Of course it — wait. Why?”_

_“Why what?” she managed to ask after a long minute of blinking stupidly at him._

_“Why are you asking?”_

_“Because… I want to?” She frowned at him through the lamplight. “What the Hell. I thought you’d be happy about it.”_

_Niall scrubbed a hand over his eyes and blew out a breath. When he looked at her again, his face was scrunched up — whether from sleepy confusion or the light, she wasn't sure; all she knew was it was one of the most adorable sights she had ever seen. The puzzlement slowly faded from his expression, and Emilie watched as her words, the meaning behind them, registered in his mind._

_Eyes wide, Niall squeezed her fingers with his. “You’re serious?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Fuckin’ Hell, you mean it?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“We’re getting married?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“We’re getting married!”_

_She didn’t get the chance to respond before his body was pinning hers to the mattress, and he kissed her harder than he had in a long time. Uncoordinated and sloppy, interrupted by his wide grin and heady chuckles, it was perfect. He pulled away far too soon, all but leaping out of the bed._

_“What are you doing, you nutcase?” she laughed._

_He didn’t bother replying. Instead, he let out a soft laugh, his hands coming up to clench in his hair, and he stared at her. The lamplight caught on the soft sheen in his eyes, the slight tremble to his lips. His chest rose and fell rapidly, as if he was struggling to breathe at the news._

_Emilie clambered off the bed and crossed the room. His heart raced under her palm as she pressed it to his chest. Up close, he was even more beautiful in his joy, and she fell that much further for this wonderful man._

_“Say it again,” he whispered, pleaded._

_“Marry me,” she whispered back, and he snaked his arms around her waist, brushing his lips against hers._

_“Yes.”_

Everyone who matters already knows — Mully was the first to find out, considering he was tasked with babysitting Ryder while Niall and Emilie left to ‘run an errand’. Clever man that he is, he noticed the rings the second the couple walked back into the house.

After that, it was the simple matter of calling their families. Emilie’s parents were ecstatic, her mothers’ voices blending together over the video-chat, and Jackson waited for them to calm down before asking Emilie if she was sure this is what she wanted. Emilie had watched Niall dancing through the living room with Ryder, _Black and White_ playing on the stereo, and known that she’d never wanted anything more in her entire life.

Maura demanded that Niall give his phone to Emilie, only to spend five minutes blubbering and trying to speak through her tears. What came out eventually was a general idea of happiness, Maura being thrilled at the engagement, and a slight chiding: “Pet, the man is supposed to be the one tied up in knots waiting for an answer. It’s the least they owe us for us tolerating their shenanigans.”

“I wasn’t worried about his answer,” Emilie had replied, and it was true. She knew he would say yes. Not only because he’d already said it was a nonnegotiable requirement for a steady relationship, but because he has shown her, every single day, just how much she means to him. How much of his life revolves around her and Ryder.

“Mama?”

“Hmm? Yeah, baby?”

“We leave?”

Ryder’s soft voice crackles on the question, and Emilie looks away from the toothbrushes in the stand. His blue eyes are full of worry and tears. She exhales sharply and sets him on the counter.

“Oh, honey, no. I mean, yes, but… I promise you we will never leave Daddy again, okay? Just like when Daddy has to go play his music, he always comes back, right? Well, that’s us. We have something to do, but we will come right back home before you can even miss it. Trust?”

“Trust.”

“Attaboy. Now, grab the toothbrushes so we can finish packing.”

Emilie has just gotten the suitcase zipped up and by the stairs when the front door opens. Leaning over the half-wall, she grins brightly at the two newcomers. Jordan grins brightly, waving up at Emilie, then heads toward the kitchen. Mully frowns.

“Where’s Ry?”

“Unc’ Sean! I here, I here!”

“Hey, there, mister, slow your roll,” Emilie scolds as she reaches out a hand, and Ryder pouts when he’s tugged to a stop. “Nope. No puppy eyes. You know you’re not allowed to run by the stairs, and you certainly aren’t allowed to go on the staircase without holding someone’s hand. So, you wanna try this again?”

“An’ Em, I go see Unc’ Sean?”

And who is Emilie to argue with that.

Thankfully, Mully keeps Ryder entertained so Emilie can carry the suitcase out to the car. He distracts the toddler during the toilet break and on the drive to the airport; the aircraft does the rest. As soon as Ryder gets his first glimpse of the planes, he squeaks and goes silent, tugging at Jordan’s hand.

“Gonna miss you,” Emilie whispers as she hugs Mully tightly. “Please make sure Barbara doesn’t die.”

“Your aloe vera is safe in my hands, I promise.”

“Hootie is gonna need watered tomorrow, too. Remember -”

Mully sighs, rolling his eyes. “Drown and drain, I know. Now get a move on, or you two will be late to your flight.”

To Emilie’s complete surprise, Ryder waits patiently for their flight to be called. He spends the entire time kneeling in his seat to watch planes land and take off, his eyes wide and mouth a perfect ‘o’. Emilie wishes she could be that easily amused, but instead, she’s worrying about how he’ll handle being on a plane, whether this is going to be worth the hassle. _Of course it is,_ her brain scolds. She isn’t quite so assured.

Her fears go unfounded. The flight is completely uneventful. Ryder watches the land disappear from under the plane, whines a bit when his ears start hurting, and falls asleep in the middle of an episode of _Paw Patrol_. All in all, it’s better than Emilie could have asked for, even if the plane is late to take off and land.

There’s no time to drop off the suitcase, but Paul promises to have someone take care of it as they hurry through the corridors. Emilie swallows down the disappointment that the plan has been derailed slightly — she was meant to be here before the show started, but hopefully, Niall understands.

Emilie isn’t sure how it happens. One second, Ryder is clinging tightly to her hand as he dances to _Everywhere_ beside her, and the next, he’s darting out from the wings, his tiny hand slipping from hers. She gasps, reaching for him and hissing out his name, but he ignores her.

The toddler stumbles to a stop and stares out at the bright lights and wall of noise, and he shoves the finger of one hand into his mouth and waves awkwardly with the other. The fans go quiet before erupting into a massive swell of adoration. Niall’s voice trails off in the middle of chatter, and Emilie meets his eye across the distance. Shrugging, she mouths “I’m so sorry” and takes a step forward to get Ryder off the stage.

John grins and kneels down next to Ryder. Emilie can’t hear what the man is saying, but then he’s tapping the three-year-old on the shoulder and pointing. Ryder follows his finger and squeals, racing the rest of the way to Niall’s side. Her fiance hands his guitar off to a tech and swoops the child up into his arms.

“Sorry, everybody, looks like we have a surprise guest,” he laughs into the microphone, his cheeks a brilliant pink, but he doesn’t let Ryder go. Instead, he kisses the child’s hair and smiles down at him. “What are you doin’ out here, sweet boy?”

“I miss you.”

“I missed you, too. Wanna help me sing?”

Ryder shakes his head, hands coming up to hold the headphones over his ears so they don’t slide off his head. “I no sing. _You_ sing.”

“Okay, I can do that. I think.” Niall pauses, eyes narrowing as he lifts Ryder up a bit. “Big question for ya. I need some courage to do this. Think you can stay with me so I can borrow some of yours?”

Ryder giggles and mimes handing over two fistfuls of ‘courage’. Niall bites down on his lower lip, pretends to put the courage into his heart. Thanking Ryder for being so generous, he turns back to the mic. Emilie sniffles, wiping away tears, and watches the man who stole her head holding their child in front of the entire stadium.

“Ugh that’s too cute, I might throw up.”

Emilie glances over her shoulder as Cari and Lewis approach, flashing them both a watery smile. “It really. I can’t feel my heart any more.”

“Lemme guess, a puddle of goo?” Cari laughs, and Emilie nods.

“A puddle of goo.”

Throwing an arm over Emilie’s shoulder, Cari stares out over the stage, the way Niall sways with Ryder tucked carefully against his chest, the content smile on the child’s face as he stares up at his daddy. “Niall hasn’t shut up about you two. It’s always ‘Ryder and Emilie this, Ryder and Emilie that’.”

“When he told us you were coming to visit, I had to have him repeat himself five times,” adds Lewis, scratching at his nose. “I think he reached octaves only dogs can hear.”

“I’m glad we came,” Emilie murmurs as she faces the loves of her life, wondering how this isn’t just a dream.

Next month is their second anniversary, and Niall has been so apologetic that he’s going to be on tour for it. It doesn’t matter to Emilie; even with him gone, it’s bound to be better than their first. The one she spent feeling so alone with him right there. The one during which the whole world became witness to the cracks in their relationship. Their dying love.

Emilie has learnt her lesson, though: She talks, she listens, and she keeps fighting to make their relationship stronger. Niall has done the same, and the distance has seemed so small even though it’s so vast.

 _Put a Little Love on Me_ comes to an end, and Emilie joins in on the cheering, whistling sharply as Niall sets the microphone back in its stand. He grins, winking at her from the centre of the stage, then turns his attention to the child in his arms. Emilie’s heart lurches at the frown that tugs at his lips — is Ryder okay? What’s wrong?

“Is -? Fuckin’ Hell, I think he’s asleep,” Niall laughs and holds a finger to his lips; the crowd grows quieter at the motion. “Shh, let’s not wake him. Poor lad needs his rest. Today was his first plane ride, and I’m sure he’s exhausted now.”

A hand pushes at Emilie’s shoulder, and she tries to stay rooted to her spot. With Lewis helping Cari push, however, Emilie has no choice but to stumble out of the wings and onto the stage. Never before has she heard such quiet screaming from thousands of people, but she hears it now, as she makes her way on shaky knees to Niall’s side.

She brushes her hair from her face, waves at the audience, and reaches out for Ryder once she’s close enough. Niall lets her take him. Emilie freezes when her fiance’s lips brush against her cheek, when he murmurs ‘I love you’ into her ear. She pulls back enough to look into his eyes, the sparkling blue that has enraptured her from the very beginning.

“I love you, too,” she whispers; he can’t hear the words, she knows that, but he knows what she’s said anyway.

His arm snakes around her waist, and Emilie is stunned when he pulls her closer, kissing her in front of the crowd. He doesn’t release her even when he speaks into the microphone.

“Thank you, everybody, for letting this beautiful devil guest-star during that song. He, uh, he was actually with me when I wrote ‘Put a Little Love on Me’. We woke up early one morning, and we wanted to let the lovely Emilie sleep in. So we went downstairs, sat at the piano, and just… started playing. Ryder is an amazing songwriter, so if you ever wanna break into the music scene, you definitely need him on your team.

“I’ve gotten asked a lot over the last few months what the album means to me, the inspiration behind the songs, and I can tell you now, I won’t ever tell the full story. Because I like leaving things up to interpretation.” He laughs quietly, gaze flickering to Emilie’s face before back out to the fans. “But I will say this.

“Emilie, this absolutely stunning woman by my side, has been such a wonderful, amazing partner. Really, the best I’ve ever known. She’s put up with so much shit, and y’know, I couldn’t ask for better. She and Ryder make my life better than I ever dreamt possible, and I’m so thankful that she’s decided to marry me.”

Deafening silence, Emilie’s heart racing in her chest, lungs ceasing to function. He’s said it. He’s announced it to the world over, when he’s done nothing but keep the relationship private for the last two years. Does he realise what he’s done?

He winks quickly at her, leaning over to kiss her. “I love you, darling.”

The microphone picks up his words, and the arena fills with screams and cheers. Emilie gets no warning before she’s being surrounded by Niall’s bandmates. Everyone is hugging her, the fans are going wild in their seats, but Emilie doesn’t care much for anything other than the utter joy that surrounds her. Ryder jerks awake at the noise, and Emilie can’t stop her laughter at the confusion on his small face.

“That first night, we were standing at your door…”

Emilie rolls her eyes at the slowed-down version of _Black and White_ then looks at Ryder. “Hey, baby, can Mama have this dance?”

Thankfully, once the band is back behind their respective instruments, the song kicks into high gear, the bright and fast rhythm coming from the amps. Emilie giggles when Cari sprints from the wings to dance with Emilie and Ryder; Lewis joins only seconds later. He ducks his head to speak directly into Emilie’s ear.

“Congratulations, future Mrs Horan.”

She grins and spins in a circle, arms tightening around a squealing Ryder. Niall leans away from the microphone long enough to press a kiss to her cheek as she dances by, and she sings along to the chorus as she realises —

This is what she’s wanted her entire life.

This happiness.

This love.

Whatever she’s found with Niall, she’s searched for this since she first knew what love was. This is the forever she hoped for.


	2. [now you've got me thinkin']

Emilie sighs again, tossing her book onto the nightstand. She hasn’t been able to concentrate all night, and she has steadily grown more frustrated with it. She can’t pinpoint what has her so on edge.

Ryder went to bed without fuss after only five books and two lullabies - a vast difference from last night. Niall is home now, too. She’s meant to be cuddling with him, making love to him, or - again - cuddling. It’s supposed to be a relaxing night.

Instead, she is lying here in their bed, wondering how to get her mind to shut up for five seconds. It won’t happen, she knows it. Not until she talks to Niall.

“Everything okay?”

Emilie forces a smile at his question, the soft voice she’s come to love so much. The accent that is so familiar to her. “I’m okay. Just… I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“With you, that could either be the most wonderful thing or the most terrifying,” Niall laughs before he pulls her in against his chest. “Which reaction should I prepare?”

“You’re an ass,” she protests, but she’s giggling anyway.

Niall glances at the screen of his phone as it vibrates then tosses it onto the nightstand. Emilie frowns - he’s ignoring his mother’s call. His hand skims along her side until it settles on her waist, and she clambers onto his lap with her knees pressed to his hips. Her head drops to his shoulder as a quiet clatter fills the room. His glasses that she rarely sees on him. Then his arms are wrapped around her ribs. His grip is tight enough that her face is squished against him.

She relishes the solid hold he has on her.

“What are you thinking about, darling?” he murmurs in her ear, and she sighs.

“Have you thought more about kids?”

He doesn’t say anything for a long while. She can almost hear the thoughts in his head racing around each other. His breath ruffles her hair.

“Love, you’re the one who made that promise. I told you before that I don’t need more kids if you don’t want them.”

And she had. Ten months ago, she had asked the same question and gotten the same answer. She swore to Niall then that she would take time to think about it, _really_ think about giving him children.

The more she thinks on it, though, the more uncertain she becomes.

“I know,” she sighs. “I just can’t help but worry you’re only saying that to appease my guilt.”

“Do I look like the type of man who would lie to you about something like this?”

“No.”

“Then trust me. If you don’t want kids, then we won’t have kids. Ry is amazing on his own.”

“And your parents are okay with not having a kid besides Theo to carry on the Horan line?”

Niall shrugs and lets his hand run up and down her spine. “Ryder has my last name, so technically, he’ll be carrying on the Horan line along with Theo.”

“But... not the genetics part.”

“Eh, he looks enough like me as a wee one to pass.” Niall pushes gently at her shoulders until he can meet her eye. “And when the feck did my parents ever get the right to influence our decisions?”

“When I realised that no matter what, your mother is my mother now, too.”

Emilie melts into his touch, the warm hands cradling her cheeks. The loving softness in his eyes, golden in the lamplight, as his gaze tracks over her face. Then he’s speaking. He punctuates each word with a kiss.

“I-” one kiss “-am-” another “-okay-” a third, and she’s giggling too hard for him to continue. “-with you not ever being pregnant with my biological baby. Okay? You already gave me the world when you said ‘I do’ a year ago.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely, petal. I love you, and I love Ryder. As long as I have you two, how could I possibly be upset?”

“I suppose you make a good point.”

“Of course I do. Now get some sleep. We have a child who wakes far too early.”

Emilie wants to argue, but she knows he’s right. Ryder hasn’t quite learnt that sleeping in past six in the morning is a _good_ thing. So she turns off her bedside lamp and shifts further under the blankets. Niall does the same before shifting until her back is against his chest.

“I love you. No matter what.”

She hopes he’s telling the truth. She trusts that he wouldn’t lie to her, especially not to make her feel better. Emilie almost gives into the swirling doubts in her mind, but he’s humming softly behind her. All thoughts fly away except for this moment.

The love he’s shown since they met almost three years ago.

She blows out a breath, fidgets with the ring on her finger. This is what she needs to focus on - the evidence of their future together and the strength he holds her with.

It’s everything she needs.

True to Niall’s word, morning comes too quickly. Tiny feet slap against the bare floor. A thirty-five pound child clambers onto the bed, and a very familiar four-year-old voice shouts for his parents to wake up. Emilie buries her face into her pillow to stifle her laughter. Niall groans and swats at her arm.

“Get the kid.”

“It’s your turn.”

“Mama, I want pancakes. Can we have pancakes? I want pancakes and waffles and blueberries and-and banananas!”

“Ask your dad, buddy,” she grumbles even as she rolls over.

“Daddy, tell Mama I want pancakes.”

“Love, you heard the boy.”

“I hate you so much, Mister Horan.”

She climbs out of bed and scoops Ryder up into her arms. “You and your daddy need to stop conspiring against me, sweetie. I feel like I’m being ganged up on.”

“I know.”

Niall’s laughter follows her down the stairs. She hefts Ryder further into her arms as she makes her way into the kitchen. He sits on his knees in his chair, hands cradling his chubby cheeks, and she listens to his endless chatter as she sets about mixing up batter.

“Mama?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I want a brother.”

The whisk slips from Emilie’s hand, and she hurriedly picks it back up. Rinsing the batter from the handle, she glances over her shoulder. “You do? Why’s that?”

“I’m bored.”

She can’t help it - she bursts into laughter. It’s such a childlike, innocent reason. Not what she expected, but somehow she isn’t surprised. She sets the whisk on the counter and turns to face Ryder.

“You want a brother because you’re bored?”

“Yeah. You and Daddy can play with each other. But who do _I_ play with?” Ryder heaves a blustering sigh, looks at her with wide blue eyes. “I don’t have fun.”

She exhales sharply, taking the chair across the table from him. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry you’re bored. But that isn’t a good reason for us to have a baby. A baby is a lot of hard work and time. It isn’t a choice we should make without a lot of thought.”

“Okay. Can I have pancakes now?”

“Absolutely. The fluffiest pancakes in all of the universes. With blueberries and whipped cream and maybe even sprinkles, as long as we don’t tell Daddy. Daddy doesn’t like us having that much sugar for breakfast.”

“I won’t tell Daddy.”

Ryder proves himself to be horrible with secrets. The second Niall wanders into the room, Ryder looks up from his plate with a mouth stuffed full of pancakes. Emilie doesn’t get a chance to remind him that Niall isn’t supposed to know before Ryder holds up his fork.

“Sprinkles!”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” laughs Niall as he accepts the bite their son so graciously offers.

“Ryder Alexander, you are the worst at keeping secrets.”

“Daddy says secrets are bad.”

Emilie bites back a smile as she finishes washing the bowl. “And you’re right. He’s right. Secrets can be a very bad thing. But this is a secret that isn’t a bad thing.”

Ryder shrugs and swallows his last bite. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“Can I have a brother?”

Niall chokes on his coffee, turning to Emilie with his eyes wide. All she can do is raise her shoulders. He clears his throat and sets his mug aside. Ryder watches closely as Niall shifts his weight between his feet.

“That’s something your ma and I need to talk about.”

“Fine,” the child sighs before sliding out of his seat. “But if I don’t get a brother to play with, I’ll be sad. Do you want me to be sad?”

Niall ducks his head to hide his laughter. “You’re so manipulative. Excuse me, little one, where do you think you’re going?”

“To go play by myself since I’m lonely.”

“Not before you clear your mess from the table.”

“My brother would do it for me.”

Ryder does as asked, even if his face is set in a petulant scowl and his footsteps are just short of stomping. Emilie takes the plate and fork from him then watches him shuffle toward the living room. Niall sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“He’s persistent.”

“He’s dead-set on getting a brother.” She pauses. “I wonder if he knows that even if we have a baby, we can’t guarantee it’ll be a boy. And it’ll be years before the kid can do what Ryder wants them to do.”

“He’s a child. I don’t think he thinks things through.”

Emilie snorts and reaches for the towel to dry her hands. Niall has a point, but she can’t focus on that. Ryder hasn’t ever asked for a sibling before. A small voice asks if she’s depriving him by being so reluctant. By not truly considering the idea of having a child with Niall instead of worrying about the changes that will bring.

Emilie blows out a breath and kisses her husband. He grins then pulls her in for another one. She stands in the circle of his arms, tasting the coffee on his tongue, and melts in his embrace. Even after so long of being with him, she still doesn’t believe this is real.

He wrote a damn song for her, but it’s hard to comprehend that he ever wanted her. That he still loves her. That their story began with a chance meeting in a busy coffeeshop. She hates that she missed out on months with him, believing their relationship would never progress past having sex whenever he came to Austin.

Friends with benefits would never have been enough.

He releases her after a long moment, his lips curved up into a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. So what’s on your agenda for today?”

As he tells her of his plans to go into the studio for his third solo album, Niall follows her into the living room. Ryder looks up from his cars then pointedly turns away. He obviously hasn’t forgotten his disappointment at hearing he wasn’t getting a brother anytime soon.

Emilie resists the urge to roll her eyes. “Okay, sweetie. Time for school.”

“I don’t wanna go.”

“I thought liked Miss Annie?”

“I wanna stay with Daddy.”

“I gotta go to work, Ry. Which means you have to go to school and your ma has to go to work.”

Ryder groans but climbs to his feet. Emilie leads him upstairs so they can get dressed for the day. Her mind strays from helping Ryder button up his denim shorts to the last twenty-four hours. Niall’s reassurances, Ryder’s demands for a little brother, her own doubts. Blowing out a breath, she cups the child’s cheeks with her hands.

“You know we love you, even if we don’t have another baby.”

“I know. Love you more than a rainbow.”

“Exactly. Love you more than a rainbow. Now let’s a move on, or Miss Annie might be mad.”

The drive to Tiny Tots Nursery is quiet, filled with only chatter from the backseat and music from the speakers. Emilie knows Ryder is at the age where he notices silence, but she can’t force herself to speak. If she does, she might make a promise to him that she just can’t keep.

Somehow, she gets through the day. Desiree had assigned her to the twos room after Emilie got back from her honeymoon, and Emilie hates that this means she doesn’t see Gloria nearly as often. She gets to work with Josh, though, so it isn’t all bad.

Once the kids are with their parents and the rooms are empty, Emilie helps him clean up the mess left behind by rambunctious toddlers then waits for Annie to bring Ryder to the front of the building. Emilie makes small talk - nothing serious, just asking after him and his new wife.

He laughs and tells her that Mandy is sad to be home but being newlyweds means eternal bliss. Emilie snorts - real life will creep in soon enough for them, and it will feel less like a wildly vivid dream and more like home. She’s just opened her mouth to ask about Maui when the door squeals open.

“Mister Josh! Guess what I’m getting for my birthday!”

Josh raises a brow then crouches down next to Ryder. “Hmm. A bunch of dinosaurs?”

“Nope! Mama says I have enough. I’m getting a baby brother!”

“Ryder,” Emilie hisses, clapping her hands over her face.

“Oh, my god, you and Niall are trying for a baby?” Annie starts bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Em, that’s—“

“Not even remotely what’s happening. Ryder told me this morning he wanted a brother, but there have been no promises, mister. So you need to stop telling people that.”

Ryder shrugs unapologetically and lets Emilie take his hand. She forces a smile at her friends, guiding the child to her car. He lets her buckle him into his seat. She pauses when she sees the frown on his face. Sighing, she pushes his hair from his face. It’s getting long, curls taking over the ends. Sun-bleached from all the time at the beach.

He looks so much like Niall.

“Look, sweetheart. It’s not that Daddy and I don’t want you to be happy. But this is a huge decision, and it will change our lives forever, okay? We can’t rush into this, or we’ll all be sad.”

“I know. Mama, can I ask you something?”

“Anything, my darling boy.”

“Will having a baby mean Nan and Pappy will love it more? Because I don’t want a brother if they’ll love him more than me.”

“Oh, honey, no.” Emilie wraps her fingers around his hands. “There is literally nothing that will make Nan and Pappy and me and Daddy love you less. We will never love anything more than we love you. Same with Mamaw and Papaw and Granna Rose.”

Ryder only nods, swinging his feet. His Paw Patrol shoes light up with each impact against the seat. Emilie kisses his forehead before backing up to shut the door. The abrupt turnaround in his desire for a sibling takes her by surprise. He’d been so adamant this morning.

Thankfully, he doesn’t bring up a sibling - or his fears - through the rest of the night. Emilie goes to bed with Niall, but she doesn’t fall asleep nearly as quickly as he does. Her mind, once again, won’t let her relax.

She’s still awake at midnight, one, three in the morning.

She finally falls asleep to the sound of his breathing and the thoughts swirling in her brain.

**_____________________**

“Excuse me! Occupied!”

Niall smiles sheepishly but doesn’t back out of the bathroom. “Sorry, love, it will only be a minute.”

“I— Why— What if I’d been pooping?” she exclaims, face burning hot.

Even after how long they’ve been together, Niall has never been in the same room when she’s used the toilet. Showers? Sure, he even joins in on most of them. But not when she’s doing her business. No length of time as husband-and-wife will ever be enough to break her belief that some things just shouldn’t be experienced together.

Toilet use is high on that list.

“Everyone does it,” he says with a shrug. He continues combing his hair.

Emilie buries her face in her hands and sighs. He’s got his stubborn ‘I’m in a rush and can’t slow down, so don’t try to stop me’ face on. This is a conversation she won’t win. So she waits as patiently as she can - which, admittedly, isn’t patient at all - for him to finish.

He finally does. His comb clatters to the counter-top, and he grins brightly at her. She watches him step out of the room, blowing out a breath. His head pops back through the doorway.

“Oh, and darling? I’d still love you even if you were pooping.”

“Go away, weirdo!”

He bounds away, laughing the entire time. Emilie rolls her eyes and finishes what she came into the bathroom to do. She stares at her reflection in the mirror as she washes her hands. It’s been a week since Ryder demanded a baby brother, a week since she last asked Niall if he’d thought about more kids. A week since she gave way for the doubts to creep in.

Ryder is already at school, so the house is silent when she makes her way down the stairs. Niall doesn’t look up from his phone, and she stands in between the kitchen and the living room, watching him. The sunlight pouring in catches on his hair, paints it a deep golden brown, and the shadows only accentuate the curve of his jaw, the solid line of his shoulders, the strength in his fingers that have kissed bruises into her skin.

He reaches blindly for his mug of coffee even as he types out a message with his other hand.

“I’m gonna ask my doctor to take the implant out.”

Her voice breaks the quiet in the room right as Niall is taking a drink. He chokes, spits his coffee back into his mug, and turns his head to stare at her. If she wasn’t so nervous about this, Emilie might have found his dumbfounded expression comedic gold. As it is, she can find no amusement in the moment. He shakes his head and sets the mug on the counter, followed closely behind by his phone.

“Implant as in...?”

“The anti-baby-making implant, yes.”

“That’s an odd way of phrasing it. Accurate, I’ll admit, but unexpectedly odd.”

Emilie shrugs, fidgeting with the hem of her T-shirt. “I mean, the German word for birth control pills is ‘antibabypillen’ so...”

“How do you know that? _Why_ do you know that?” He shakes his head, but she sees the smile anyway. The smile fades. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Are you sure you want to?”

Why isn’t he happier about this? Emilie thought this is what he wants, even if he says he’s okay with it never happening. Crossing the room, she hauls herself onto the countertop to perch next to him. His fingers automatically wrap around her ankle, and she draws in a steadying breath.

“I, um, I realised that it was a lot like the whole marriage thing. I was letting fear get in the way of rational thinking.” She scrubs at her face with one hand, ignoring the buzzing coming from his phone. “Instead of asking myself ‘Do I want this?’, I was thinking of a million reasons to prevent it. I wasn’t really giving it the thought it deserved.”

“And now?”

His voice is achingly quiet. He won’t look at her. Emilie blinks rapidly to get rid of the burning in her eyes, but the tears form against her wishes. She swallows and runs her fingers through his hair.

“Now, it’s... it’s something I want. As much as it terrifies me - and Niall, it fucking terrifies the Hell out of me - I want to have a baby with you. I want to give Ry a sibling. I want to take that step with _you_ , because I’ve already done so much that scares me. I made it through all that, so this is something I should believe I can do.”

Niall doesn’t say a word. He only turns to face her and cradles her cheeks in his hands. Warm from the coffee, gentle as they’ve always been. He steps closer and pulls her into his kiss. It’s almost desperate, this side of too hard, but Emilie relishes it. It reminds her that he loved her. That she still means so much to him.

“I want to be a mom again,” she whispers.

His left hand drops to her thigh, tugging her leg until it wraps around his waist. Emilie giggles when he pushes closer. His phone vibrates again. She fumbles for the device, managing to put it on Do Not Disturb without pulling away. He exhales sharply as his hand slides up her shirt.

“Okay, one? Not in the kitchen.” Her words disappear on a soft moan when his lips move to her throat, and she gasps and lets her head fall back at the sharp nip stinging in her skin. “And second, I still have the implant. It would be pointless to start trying right now.”

He pulls back just enough to meet her gaze. The gleam in his blue eyes screams of mischief, love and desire and everything they have ever shared between them. “Oh, darling, it’s never pointless to start trying. After all, the more we try, the more likely we are to succeed.”

“Except, hello, implant. Anti-baby-maker. Hormones to stop my uterus from dropping eggs. Ring a bell?”

“Let me just take you to bed, damn it,” he whines.

And who is Emilie to deny him this when he pleads so beautifully? She pushes at his shoulders until he steps back, then she’s on her feet and running toward the stairs. He’s one step behind.


	3. [forever, we will be]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompted by an ask on my tumblr. i'm completely unashamed of how sweet and cute this ended up being.

Emilie has lost all hope by the time Ryder’s sixth birthday nears. It’s been almost two years of trying - and failing - to conceive. To make Ryder an older brother and give Niall a child, half-him and half-her. The attempts have only been unsuccessful, and each negative test crushes her.

Niall hasn’t seemed concerned with it. “It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, love.” That’s easy for him to say. He isn’t the one pressuring her to have a baby. The pressure is from herself. She thought she didn’t want to be pregnant, and now she’s said she does, it’s a desire that consumes her.

Emilie had even gone to a fertility specialist while Niall was on tour. The doctor told her everything was fine with her reproductive organs, and she’d left the office feeling like even more of a failure. If all systems were go, why wasn’t it happening? It never crossed her mind that he might be the reason.

She made him go almost the instant he got home. There were no cause for concerns on his end.

Emilie has started believing that maybe it isn’t meant to be. Maybe she’s only meant to have Ryder and no other child. He is an amazing son - smart, kind, generous. The sweetest little boy Emilie has ever known. She aches to give him a sibling like he asked for.

His begging for a baby brother stopped after his fifth birthday. He’d blown out the candles on his cake, squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them only for his face to fall. He left his own party to hide in his bed. Niall had come back downstairs ten minutes later with a guilty expression.

“He wished for a brother and got upset that it didn’t come true immediately.”

Emilie has lived with that shame ever since.

Mully taps her forehead with his knuckles. “Anyone in there?”

“No, all my brain cells flew away.” Emilie sighs, staring down at the iPad in front of her. Nearly every item on the list has been checked off. She locks the screen and gives Mully her full attention. “You were saying?”

“I was asking if your parents were coming this year.”

“No, they can’t make it. Mom has some corporate thing to do, Mama has Danielle’s new baby for the next week so Dani can go on the NA retreat, and Dad has to do damage control in Sydney. They’ll do a video chat, though, so keep your clothes on at all times.”

Mully lets out an exaggerated groan. “Do you _have_ to torture me?”

“Nah, it’s merely a benefit of our friendship.”

She giggles when he flips her off, but his expression sobers. Emilie picks up the stylus pen and unlocks the iPad to reread what she has to do now. There is nothing on the list.

The decorations are hidden up in the guest room, the gifts wrapped and tucked away in Mully’s room - the one place Ryder knows he isn’t allowed in without permission. Jordan placed the cake order yesterday, so that’s another thing taken care of.

All that is left is to wait for the day to arrive.

And try not to dwell on the fact she is failing to give Niall the next step in their relationship.

“Still no luck?”

Emilie groans, letting her head thunk to the table. Mully has supported the decision since the beginning. She hadn’t actually expected Niall to keep it from his childhood best friend, but even she didn’t anticipate that the text message would be sent within seconds of their post-coital shower.

“No, and… I keep thinking that it never will happen. I mean, it’s been two fucking years. The doctor said nothing is wrong with us, so why-why won’t it just happen already?”

“Because you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.” Mully rests his hand on hers, squeezing gently. His face softens with his smile. “From what Jordan and I have read, it’s harder with added stress.”

“Why have you two been researching _that_?”

Mully blows out a breath and leans back in his seat. Emilie watches him closely, frowning at his silence. His brows draw together when he meets her gaze.

“We were... Okay, don’t get mad. Promise?”

“I swear.”

“Niall told us a few months ago that you were getting more frustrated with each test, so Jordan and I started trying to find tips to make it easier. It’s not that we think it won’t happen,” he rushes to assure her, but Emilie doesn’t take comfort from that.

She can’t. Not when the attempts haven’t been successful and it’s her fault. No matter what anyone says, she is the reason it hasn’t come to fruition.

“Em, I promise we don’t think you won’t get pregnant. We all _want_ you to be, because it’s what you and Nialler want. Just... I guess try to not put so much pressure on yourself. Lay back and have fun with it. Let it happen on its own terms.”

“I just want to make him happy,” whispers Emilie, her finger running along the casing of her iPad. “He’s said he doesn’t _need_ another kid to be happy, but I know it’ll make him happy.”

“Have you talked to his ma?”

Emilie shakes her head and sniffs back tears. “Didn’t wanna get her hopes up just for me to keep failing.”

“You—”

His words are cut off by the front door opening, a familiar voice echoing through the silence of the house. Shoes hit the wall with a thump, then little feet patter toward the kitchen. Emilie turns in time to scoop Ryder up into his arms.

“Hi, Mama! Guess what. I got a sticker for being good today in school!”

“What? That’s amazing, baby. I’m proud of you.”

Ryder nods enthusiastically and settles in on her lap. Emilie rests her forehead on his soft hair as he rambles on about helping his friends and cleaning the play area like Ms Fairbrother asked. According to him, he even gave Hannah his chocolate milk because she didn’t want plain.

Niall waits until Ryder stops talking to draw in a breath. “Okay, little one, you seem to have forgotten where your bag goes. I don’t think by the front door is that place.”

“Shite.” Ryder freezes in Emilie’s arms then slowly turns his head to stare up at her. “Oops.”

“Go pick up your bag and put it away. Then we’ll have a long conversation about appropriate words.”

While he scurries off to the entryway, Emilie pins Niall with an unimpressed look. He shrugs without remorse, grinning brightly, then crosses the room to cup her cheeks with sun-warmed hands.

“I’d say sorry, but it’s weirdly adorable to hear him cursing.”

“He’s five. He shouldn’t be cursing.”

Niall presses his lips to hers, and her frustration fades. Her stomach fills with the well-known sensation of _home_ , the warmth of the love they’ve found in each other, of everything he has given her. But as she sinks into the comfort, she can’t fight the dark cloud forming beneath her ribs.

Maybe he should find someone else who can actually give him a child without years of trying.

“Love, please,” Niall pleads two days later.

“No.”

“Why not?”

Emilie sighs, slamming her toothbrush onto the bathroom counter next to the box. “Because I do it every month when you’re home, and they’re always negative. Why should I keep putting myself through that Hell? Why should I keep reminding myself that I’m a fucking failure?”

“You’re not a failure, Em. C’mere.” Niall pulls her in against his chest, holds her tightly enough that she can’t move at all, and kisses her head. “I… I knew you were frustrated that it hadn’t happened yet, but I didn’t know you felt you were a failure. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you’d do this,” she mutters with a vague gesture.

“What, comfort my wife?”

“It’s stupid. I know it is. But, Niall, I really want this.”

“I know. So do I. But even if it never happens, it will never change the fact I love you and the son we already have.” He sighs, rubbing circles into her back, and squeezes her gently. “Will you please take the test?”

“If it’ll get you off my back.”

“I’d much rather be on your front, but whatever.”

Emilie pulls away and stares at the box on the counter. Niall asks if she wants him to stay, but she shakes her head. She won’t be able to look him in the eye when it comes back negative. Another kiss, then he closes the door behind him. She sighs, reaching for the box with a trembling hand.

> **To: Derek, Monica  
>  <** _You two busy?_
> 
> **Derek:  
>  >** _I’ll be on break in a few minutes._
> 
> **Monica:  
>  >** _I’m free. What’s up?_
> 
> **Emilie:  
>  <** _I need some moral support please??_

Within seconds of the text, her phone vibrates in her hand. Emilie accepts the video call and waits for Monica’s face to fill the screen. Moni holds up a finger as she finishes chewing the food in her mouth.

“Okay, what’cha need, babe?”

Emilie drops to sit on the closed toilet lid, scrubbing a hand over her face. Before she can speak, the line beeps - Derek is joining the chat. Monica rolls her eyes when their friend’s voice comes through the speakers. Soft country plays in the background.

“So we’re all here,” Derek says as he settles in at one of the coffeeshop’s tables, shoving an earbud into his ear. “How can we help?”

“I, uh, I’m taking another test today. Like, now.”

Monica frowns, her dark eyes shifting to the right. “Beanie Baby… Don’t you think that maybe you’re torturing yourself with taking one every month?”

“Niall is forcing me.”

“I love your husband, but I’ll kick his ass. I’d kick Ben’s ass if he tried forcing me to take a pregnancy test.”

“Moni, leave her alone.” Derek blows out a breath. “But really, Em, we’re here for you.”

“Thanks. Uh, I’m gonna mute myself. Y’all don’t need to hear me pee.”

“Don’t you know we get off on hearing you pee?”

Emilie gapes at Derek’s video square as Monica dissolves into giggles. His cheeks flush a brilliant red, and he covers his face with a hand when Emmett’s face comes into view. The owner of San Francisco stares at Derek, face twisted into disgust and confusion. Emilie mutes the video chat, sets her phone on the counter, and grabs the test kit.

It takes less than two minutes.

Her entire body quakes. Her friends call her name, but she can’t breathe. Tears obscure her vision. Her throat tightens. She lowers herself on shaky knees, the cold porcelain of the tub biting into the back of her thighs.

“Emilie Taylor, answer us. What’s going on?”

A knock sounds at the door. Niall pokes his head into the room, and his gaze searches her out. He frowns as he steps inside and closes the door. The warmth of his hands on her cheeks forces her to close her eyes. His thumb brushes away a tear slipping free.

“Petal, what’s wrong?” He pauses, and she knows what he’s thinking. “It’s okay, love. We’ll keep—”

She gasps as reality slams into her. “I’m pregnant.” Niall’s mouth closes with a clacking of teeth, and Emilie opens her eyes to stare up at him. “I’m actually really pregnant.”

“Are you serious?”

She points shakily toward the test on the counter, the one with two blue lines. The one that proves she’s getting what they want. He moves away to check the results, passing her phone to her without looking. His breath stutters in his chest as he turns toward her.

Monica scowls as Emilie turns her face toward the screen, but the anger melts when she sees the tears. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

Emilie hurriedly takes the call off mute. “Why? I mean, I’ve got a bun in the oven, which is exactly what I’ve been trying for, so there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Silence fills the room except for the shuddering breaths from Niall, then Monica shrieks loudly. Derek winces but cheers along. Their voices mix in a shrill harmony, and Emilie lets out a breathless laugh. Derek’s video blurs, red walls and wooden countertop, but it steadies after a moment.

“Em! Em’s pregnant!”

Emilie accepts the congratulations as gracefully as possible through her tears before ending the call—“I have a husband to celebrate with.” Dropping her phone to the counter, she stands beside Niall and laces their fingers together. His eyes shine with the tears that streak down his cheeks.

“We’re gonna have a baby,” she whispers, leaning her head against his shoulder.

He turns and wraps his arms around her, crushing her again his chest. His heart races beneath his ribs, his tears dampen her hair, and she clings to him in the face of this new chapter of their lives. Her stomach churns at the thought of what’s next.

Emilie rises on her tiptoes and pulls him down for a kiss, whispers against his lips, “I’m pregnant.”

“You are. Fuck, you really are.”

She pulls back “How do we wanna do this? Tell everyone now, or…?”

“I think we should wait until Monday.” He catches the way she tilts her head, the downturn of her lips. “Let it be one of Ryder’s presents.”

“You realise the guitar you bought for him is going to pale in comparison, right?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I’m okay with that. This is far better anyway. I can teach him to play anytime, but having a baby with you? It’s our dream come true.”

It’s utter Hell to not shout it from the rooftops, to announce to the world that not only is Niall Horan happily married, but he’s about to become the father of two children. The blogger who treated her so horribly two years ago has practically dropped off the face of the earth, but Emilie knows they will be back with a vengeance once the news breaks.

Finally— _finally_ —the thirty-first dawns bright and clear, if a little chilly by LA’s standards. Niall and Emilie had let Ryder stay home from school, let him dictate their plans for the day until the party this afternoon. They spend the morning at the park, her husband and child kicking a ball around, then go for lunch. Ryder talks about his tee-ball practise this past weekend and how excited he is for the upcoming game.

After lunch comes a swim in the pool at home. Emilie sits on the edge and watches her little family as they dive and swim. Ryder has learnt how to swim by the time he was four; he’s nearly an expert now, completely unafraid with going under the surface. All she wants is to tell him the truth—that he’s getting the sibling she couldn’t give him over the last two years.

But she keeps it locked deep inside. Niall was right. This is the perfect gift to give their son on his birthday.

The house is full of sound by four o’clock. Mully has Jackson on his phone, Niall has his parents on his, and Rose and Paige beam from Emilie’s screen. John and Melody help keep Ryder and Freddie distracted while the adults carry the gifts downstairs. Emilie leans against the counter and stares at the overflowing table, the guitar-shaped cake on the countertop, and the children playing outside.

Once the birthday song is sung and cake devoured, Ryder opens his presents. His shriek of delight at the acoustic guitar shatters through the conversations around him, and he launches himself at Niall.

“Thank you so much, Daddy. I can’t wait to play music with you!”

Niall grins even as his eyes gleam suspiciously brighter. “I can’t wait, either. I think Mama has one last gift to give you, though, so you better sit back down.”

Emilie blows out a breath while Ryder obeys. She glances at Niall. He grins, nodding, and takes her phone from her hand. Her heart thrums a hummingbird-beat in her chest as she kneels down beside Ryder’s seat. He turns expectantly toward her. Carding her fingers through his hair, she swallows against the tightness in her throat.

“Remember your wish last year, when you blew out your candles?”

“Yeah. I wanted a baby brother, and he never came.”

Emilie giggles and pokes his nose to rid him of his scowl. “Well, the wish took some time, but it did come true.”

Ryder cocks his head with a frown. It doesn’t take long for her words to register in everyone’s minds—everyone except the children’s. She raises a hand to cup Ryder’s cheek amid the shouts of ‘congratulations’ filling the room.

“I can’t guarantee the baby will be a boy, but... Ry, you’re gonna be a big brother.”

His jaw drops, and all he can do is stare with wide eyes at Emilie. The wall of voices around them fades away as everyone prepares for his reaction. She wonders what’s going on in his head, though she waits for only a moment.

“Are you serious? Mama, I’m getting a baby?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I have a baby in my belly,” she murmurs before brushing his cheek with her thumb.

He stays silent for a long minute. Then he lunges into her arms, knocking her on her ass, and bursts into tears.

“This is the best day ever,” he sobs, clinging more tightly to her. His tears soak the collar of her T-shirt, and he trembles in her arms. “Thank you, Mama.”

“Oh, honey, you’re so welcome. I’m glad you’re happy about this.”

Ryder pulls back to scrub at his face. “I’m not just happy, Mama. I think I’m gonna die with how happy I am. Oh! The baby can share my room and my toys, and I can teach him how to be a good boy. I can read to him every day! Wait, Mama. Does Daddy know?”

“If he didn’t know already, you definitely just told him,” laughs Emilie. “You know things will be different now, right? We won’t ever stop loving you, but we’ll have to spend a lot of time with the baby.”

“I don’t care! I’m getting a baby!”

Emile holds him close as he starts crying once more, blubbering about being a big brother. Her gaze meets Niall’s, and his soft smile is the perfect response. Someone clears their throat. She turns her attention toward Mully’s phone with a sniffle of her own.

“You’re making us grandparents again?”

“Yeah, Daddy. You’re gonna have another grandchild to spoil rotten.”

“Mama, when will the baby be here?”

Emilie stifles another bout of giggling and squeezes Ryder gently. “It’ll be a while, but that just gives us time to prepare, right?”

“He needs to be here _now_. I’m tired of waiting.”

“You literally just found out, Ry,” Niall chuckles as he pulls Ryder from Emilie’s arms. “Gotta be patient, sweetheart.”

Ryder heaves a weighted sigh then wipes the tears from his cheeks. “Can I go play with Freddie now?”

Leave it to a child to change moods in the blink of an eye. The children rush off to the living room to dump out the Lego sets, noted by the enormous clatter of plastic pieces. She rises to her feet and is almost crushed to death by the tight hugs from everyone around.

Maura is gone from the screen of Niall’s phone; only the wall behind her is visible. Emilie can’t fight the giggle at the telltale sound of someone blowing their nose. Bobby smiles, congratulates Niall and Emilie, then has to hang up. She takes her phone back from Niall and weaves her way through the people gathered until she reaches the back door.

“So now that it’s less crazy, hi.”

Rose blinks rapidly, fanning at her face with one hand. “I’m so happy for you two. I know it’s been a rough go.”

“It has been. And I, um, I honestly had given up on it ever happening. I mean, we tried for two years.”

“As much as I don’t like to think about my baby’s sex life,” Jackson grimaces, “you and Niall deserve this. Congratulations.”

“You better send loads of pictures until you can bring the baby here,” Paige warns, and Emilie laughs.

A lightness settles in her bones, and she sits on the patio long after she ends the video-chat with her parents. Now that they’ve told everyone, it feels _real_. As if the test wasn’t the ultimate decider in their fate. It was this, inviting their friends and family to join in on the joyous moment.

Though she knows what pregnancy did to Danielle, what the responsibility did, Emilie can’t find it in herself to be afraid. Whatever comes will come, and she’ll be as ready as possible with Niall by her side.

Her phone beeps in her hand, and she glances down at the screen.

**Twitter**  
New Tweet from @NiallOfficial

**Instagram**  
niallhoran just posted a photo.

Emilie claps a hand over her mouth as she stares down at the Instagram post. A sob bubbles out of her as she reads the words beneath, and she closes out of the application. The photo is imprinted on the back of her eyelids.

Taken at one of Ryder’s tee-ball games, she’s drinking a cup of coffee and focusing solely on watching Ry and his team shake hands with the opposing team. The caption, though… That’s what got her.

> **niallhoran** I can’t wait to start this next chapter with you. You’ve given me so much love and a family to come home to. You don’t know how wonderful you are or how much I love and need you. I can’t thank you enough for everything you do for me. @emmietay you are an amazing mother and our children are so lucky to have you.

Even as tears slide down her cheeks, she opens Instagram once more and double-taps the photo. She ‘likes’ the post on Twitter before quote-tweeting it with _You’ve loved me through it all. Here’s to the next 100 years loving each other and our little family._

“Thanks for choosing a good picture,” she quips on a watery voice when shoes scuff against the stones behind her.

“You never take a horrible picture, darling.”

Niall sits beside her and pulls her into his side. His lips press to her forehead, and Emilie soaks up the comfort of his hold, warmer than the sun. Nothing needs to be said as they sit side-by-side. The way they’ll always be until the end. Forever.


End file.
